"I would like to propose a toast. To chicks with big tits, and SAKE!!!" - Nicholas "in the 3s" Schoonover
Ya, so that's pretty much how my Friday night went. I hadn't been out for Japanese in quite a long while, but I found a great opportunity when Wookie and the Romanian came out to Fair-tucky for a visit and were looking to take a drink or two. First a little of the ground work. I have single handedly composed a tradition with certain rules to be followed at Japanese Hibachi or Tepanyaki style steakhouses where a performing chef cooks for your group with style!
My tradition started a couple of years back when I took my best friend Jagger out to dinner with a couple of other people and he said that he'd never tried Sake. "SAKE!!!" I shouted, throwing up my hand for service and had an order of cold Sake delivered pronto. Now here are the rules and they must be followed to a 'T' lest bad Juju fall upon your house and your loved ones. You don't want bad Juju, trust me.
1. You must use traditional Japanese Sake cups, which are like half shot glasses. None of those Wine glasses, you'll understand later. Another recommendation is to not buy the cheapest Sake on the list, bad Sake (like any drink) tastes like battery acid. Decent Sake should taste slightly sweet like White Wine. Don't be afraid to ask. If the Sushi chef likes it, then you can bet your ass that it's one of the best on the menu.
2. Every time ANYONE, and I fucking mean ANYONE takes the first drink of a freshly filled cup, then EVERYONE must drink together. Sip, chug, whatever, after that point, but the first MUST be done together. I prefer to do two big sips in between a few bites.
3. You must toast each first sip of a fresh glass followed by yelling "...and SAKE!!!". Thus a good first toast is, "To good family, good friends, and SAKE!!!", followed by clicking the cups together. If people aren't startled and staring at your group in awe and astonishment, then you aren't yelling loud enough. The louder your toast, then the further your group will drive away evil spirits from those that you love...and it sounds pretty fuckin cool when you have a big group!
4. Drink often. You need to keep the cups in regular motion from the table to your lips since the evil spirits tend to regroup and come back in force. If you want to stare at 72o non-stop for the next 6 months straight, then don't heed these ancient rules. Don't ever fuck with bad Juju. Your group should also progressively get louder due to the increasing numbers of evil spirits. Eventually people at other tables will begin to sense the wave of good Karma surrounding them and join in to protect their family and friends too, this is GOOD!
5. Don't ever repeat a toast in the same night. You should freely toast the exceptionally good parts of the meal, perhaps one really good sauce and especially the toast the Chef. "To our wonderful Chef who totally kicked that other Chef's ass in skill and presentation, and SAKE!!!" "To our cool waitress who is hustling her cute ass off to keep a full bottle at the table, and SAKE!!!" "To that guy at the other table who's totally feeling the good Mojo that we're generating, and SAKE!!!"
Again, if every other table isn't looking at your group in shock and awe, then you aren't doing it right! Feel free to invite me out with your crew and I will be happy to provide instructional guidance free of charge.
!!!!!SAKE!!!!!
Nicholas has left the 3s