I've seen a lot of stupid things in my 7 years at the Poker tables. Most of time it's just extremely bad plays by weak players and then they justify it verbally in a manner that makes complete sense to them and none what-so-ever to any sane human. That all part of the game; if there weren't providers in the game, then there would be no point in playing would there?
Sometimes the REALLY stupid thing that I see happens when a less weak player will begin to correct the other player; that's when I get into the conversation. "Hey, you play your game and he'll play his. Can we just get back to playing Poker?", which usually ends in a "Pfft, ALL right...". At least it ends the conversation, there's no rational reason to help a provider improve their game and take money off the table. The people that are correcting their bad play don't care if they play better, it's all yet another example of a Poker ego trip to make a weaker feel inferior to another player. I won't tolerate that because I'm there to make money not socialize (most of the time), and I don't like bullies pushing around a weaker player who is probably still new to the game.
Last night was a typical session at Cache Creek with the usual eclectic group of players. We even had a douche with a mohawk at the table whom I quickly christened "The Woodchuck" to keep in tune with my December Vegas trip and the idiot in the blue track suit that kept requesting setups every 30 minutes, "We're paying time!!!". Anyway, this Woodchuck looked like Chris Moneymaker in a mohawk with Iridium Oakley's. How could I not make fun of that asswipe and he kept making like he was a pro, sitting at the low-limit tables. Come on dude, please, just play poker and keep the game moving. One of the other players that I was friendly with told me that the Woodchuck was playing a team game with 2 other guys. I couldn't really hear them and I have to admit that I wasn't really watching. If they were, then they weren't very good at it because the Woodchuck hit the felt and all three hit the door together without any real score. I never thought anyone would bother to play teams at the low limit tables, but if that's what it takes for some people to win, then I guess they'll do it anywhere. Sad...
Now we get into a hand that just had me dumb founded in the $100-$200 No-Limit. The 9s was a regular player admittedly from Tunica Mississippi, but he didn't have much skill. He got into a hand with a rock in the 6s that didn't play anything except suited Aces while Jupiter and Mercury were aligned under a Blue Moon on a Thursday. A Queen hit the board with junk after the 9s called a pre-flop raise of about $30. He fired about $30 with his obvious pair of Queens with good kicker (I guessed Ace or King), while the rest got out of the way to make it heads-up with the 6s who pushed a really big raise into the pot, enough to cover the 9s. The 9s went into the deep think tank...tick tock...tick tock...tick tock. "Call, I think you got them Aces." Sure enough the 6s turned over pocket Aces. The 9s slammed his cards down on the table KQ, "I knew you had Aces, I just knew you had Aces!". I instantly made the Beavis face (Whitebread knows the face). Now comes the really scarey part when I asked, "If you 'knew' he had you beat then why did you call?" "Oh, cuz I still have a lot of outs," says the 9s. BEAVIS FACE! I thought Sean was going to fall out of his chair laughing at my shocked expression. Like I always say, some people are just born stupid, while others work hard at it over their lifetime. The Aces held up to the dissappointment of the 9s, he just reloaded.
For some reason I just couldn't win in this game of mental giants. I was constantly pulling out cash and filling up. I play a rather loose game at these No-Limit tables packed with weak players, because they warrant it; so there is in-fact no two cards that I won't play. Example: I caught a flop with K4s to make two pair on the flop against a big stack and ended up getting him right where I wanted him with all my chips in the pot and him with a King and a big kicker, exactly how I read him (although his tell was a billboard). He runs out a flush to beat me. Ouch, but that's Poker. I reloaded and steamed a bit, but my discipline didn't cause me to dump chips. If I've learned nothing in my 7 years at the felt, you MUST have discipline to get the money over the long-run. The rest of your life can be chaos, but you MUST be able to make the tough laydowns and take the tough beats or you'll lose your mind and every chip in front of you.
Speaking of "I've seen it all" moments, I was bored out of my mind being stuck and seeing nothing but rags that even I wouldn't play for hours when the board announced an open seat for "Q-Dogg". That's right Q-Dogg, now if that isn't the most retarded thing that I've ever heard in my life then I don't know what is. "Q-Dogg, your 3/6 seat is now available. Q-Dogg." I imagined the conversation thusly.
"Yes, I'd like to sign up for the 3/6 and 4/8."
"Alright, your name?"
"Q-Dogg"
"I'm sorry, sir?"
"Q-Dogg"
"Que-Dee-Ohh-Gee, alright, you're all signed up."
"No, that's Que-Dee-Ohh-Double-Gee."
"My apologies sir. Que-Dee-Ohh-Double-Gee."
Lewis the dealer and I lost it over Q-Dogg. We imagined him wearing his Hoody seatshirt with his hat pulled down and his sun glasses and headphones on sitting 3/6 looking hardcore. We kind of made it like a "Where's Waldo" hunt in the card room. I had my money on the 74 year old guy, "He just looks like a straight up Gangsta."
Q-DOGG in tha house!
Esparto represent! (Think Gomer, Whitebread)
He's currently the points leader on the QPT (Q-Dogg Poker Tour), next stop Capay! (Think Harrod, Whitebread)
Q-Dogg also just finished his first Poker book, "Q-Dogg's Supa-Fly System".
As I would lay down hole cards, "Q-Dogg would play this hand, but I'm not as good as him."
Q-Dogg Keepin it REAL!!!
Poor Q-Dogg, I was still giggling about him almost 5 hours later.
I got to chat with a young lady in the 7s named Lee for a couple of hours. She's been playing for 2 years and already has great form. I was honestly shocked and amazed at how well she played that it made me feel warm inside to see a Natural. I can teach you how to play the game, you can learn the Math, study the subtleties; but you can't teach discipline. She got into a hand where she was in really great position to tripple up her rather large stack and went into the think tank in last position with the other two all-in. "Dang...Dang...Dang..." One player to a hand, otherwise I would have told her that hard as it was, she had to lay down her nut Flush draw, because the 6s (The Rock) had a made hand and that pot wasn't yielding the right odds, but not by much. She stuggled and stuggled but finally flipped her AQs up on the table and went into depression mode when the Spade rivered. I wanted to kiss her for having the discipline (but her husband would probably beat me up), instead I settled for rapping the table and saying, "Good, that's what you're supposed to do." The only way that she should make that call is if the dealer checks and tells her that it's a Spade, but that wouldn't make the play correct, just lucky.
You don't risk a good winning session for a busted session on a hope and a dream. Especially when my experience told me that she didn't have all 9 outs, AH HA! In-fact when the cards were all turned over, she had only 6. That's just reading people and knowing their tendencies because without knowing that she only needed 1.08 : 1 to make that call on the Flop. However, with only 6 outs, she needed 2.37 : 1 to make that call profitable, remember we're talking about Effective Odds because all three of them were All-in on the flop. The pot wasn't yielding enough of a return, so you have to have the discipline to lay down a monster hand and ignore the fact that the Spade hits, it wasn't a good opportunity. My suspicion is that she hasn't advanced to the point of knowing the Math part yet, which made the lay down even sweeter. I (or anyone else) can always teach her the numbers, I can't teach her the discipline.
The night went on with me giggling and earning pots until about 4:00 AM when I decided that it wasn't going to get any better and pulled the release chord. I quit loser, but it really was a huge victory considering how much I was stuck. I think that my endurance reserves just pulled me through, while the others were fading fast I was picking up my second wind. I grabbed my food and as I walked out the door I could hear, "Q-Dogg your 4/8 seat is open. Q-Dogg."
Cash money, homie...
Game: No-Limit Hold 'em
Location: Cache Creek
Net Gain/Loss: -$300
Time: 13.0 Hours
Nicholas has left the 3s