You lucky readers get a bonus today, a double post! I was toying around yesterday singing yet another of my non-sense songs and came up with a good country-style "Dueling Pianos" tune in about 5 minutes (Ya, I have my moments...). Here are the lyrics for your enjoyment until I get around to laying down the tracks and building the MP3. I dedicate it to one of my most dedicated readers and the sparkle in my eye, my ma. If I can't make her pee herself laughing then I don't want to live anymore. Love ya, ma. ;-)

Drum roll please...

---
Ma Needs a Brew - by Nicholas "in the 3s" Schoonover

my ma just walked into this hole to see her boy perform
I cranked up on the keys and spat and tried to wail one more
she bellied up next to the rail and listened to me sing
then slammed her hand upon the bar and yelled I need a drink

ma needs a brew
ma needs a brew
oh how 'bout you?
ma needs a brew

the more she sings
the more she woos
the more they bring
ma needs a brew

now ma's about the greatest woman that i've ever known
she cheers and claps when noone laughs as they're showin me the door
that woman knows a damn good thing that's why I tell the truth
just careful when she winks at you when her blood reads 40 proof

ma needs a brew
ma needs a brew
oh how 'bout you?
ma needs a brew

the more she drinks
the more she chews (spit)
the more they scream
ma needs a brew

nobody better say my ma just ain't the best there's been
she's gone a long way from her start she's slept with lots of men
my ma's about to branch to things that ma ain't never tried
there's a blonde girl in the back that's stacked and given ma the eye

ma needs a brew
ma needs a brew
oh how 'bout you?
ma needs a brew

the more she wails
the more she screws (gross!)
the more they yell
ma needs a brew

ma needs a brew
ma needs a brew
oh how 'bout you?
ma needs a brew

the more she sings
the more she woos
the more they bring
ma needs a brew
---

Nicholas has left the 3s